HOPE
The magnitude of one life.
Every life, each life, has infinite worth and value—precious in the eyes of God. The Sisters of Life reflect on this truth when they say concerning their founder, Cardinal O’Connor, “To him, it was not that six million Jews and five million Christians were killed in the holocaust - but that one person of infinite worth was killed, eleven million times…” (Sisters of Life, IMPRINT Magazine)
This month I’ve seen some beautiful things as well as some heart-wrenching stuff. We were able to send off Ridwan to Addis for the surgery that would secure his life. Instead of dying an agonizing death by choking, he is alive and well, talking and smiling. He flat lined once on the medical airplane and was revived and then again upon their arrival at the hospital. On so many occasions this young man should have surely died. Yet he is alive. Thousands of dollars later, we reflect, is it worth it? Was he worth it? Absolutely.
I’ve also met this month a beautiful young boy, about 10 years old, named Mohammad. He has a genetic skin disorder that has his body covered in open sores as his skin is extremely delicate and paper thin. The amazing thing is that his face is spotless, unblemished, and fresh. He is a shy boy yet his smile is captivating and does away with any dullness and apathy in the heart. I promise that his smile awakened in me great joy and a deep love.
I cannot deny that when I walked away from that hospital room after meeting Mohammad, I was upset. I was angry with God because I couldn’t understand why Mohammad….why? Why doesn’t he get to play like other children and have the possibility of a normal life? Instead, he will live as a prisoner of his skin for the length of his short life. Why?--My heart was full and heavy and I cried because he is also precious and worth just as much as Ridwan. Yet we cannot do the same for him. We cannot make everything better. This still hurts my heart as I visit him. But I can make him laugh so I make myself a fool to get a laugh out of his little lungs.
We received word a week ago that a boy drowned in the river that runs through our backyard…the river which usually brings life to the people, the animals, and the vegetables. Instead, death was dealt out in the river and this boy died. So in very real instances, this month I could not avoid reflecting on death, life, and hope.
At the death of a person we should never speak too much but maybe practice our Lady’s virtue of silence and carry these things in our heart. No word we can say is enough to console ourselves let alone another person. To be faced with death is to be faced with the most horrific tragedy and dichotomy of life.
The separation, the suffering, the rupture in the unity of who we are as embodied spirits…it’s something that our mind will never be able to grasp or fully accept. Neither should we be expected to since it is contrary to what pulls and draws the human heart, that is beauty, truth, goodness. In death, we see none of this.
Only in Jesus is this redeemed for us, since now in Him we can hope. We have hope that our bodies will again be found with our souls, this time in perfect integration and purity. We have hope now that our lives can be transformed through death into the ultimate joy and satisfaction of all of our desires in heaven. Now we can hope that after death, there is a promise awaiting its fulfillment for those who have plunged themselves into God’s mercy. We can live in this hope. We can stake our lives on it.
“Hope is the anchor of the soul…” -Hebrews 6:19
A friend of mine has a tattoo that reads very simply: HOPE. It’s a good reminder to read every day. What he gets to literally read on his body is symbolic of what we too should be “reading” when we look at our bodies: hope. Hope, dear one. This is not the end.
I read a blog the other day from a 25-year-old woman named Lexi who is battling cancer. She very wisely wrote that it’s only in the trenches that hope is born, since it’s only in the darkness that we can see light. Hope is both a human virtue and a divine one. We are enabled by Jesus to “hope against all hope” as we are faced with the difficult moments in life where undue suffering and injustice make it almost impossible for our eyes to turn toward heaven.
May hope rise up in our hearts as we approach Holy Week and the blessed time of Easter. In that darkness of the Agony, the Crucifixion, the pain, and betrayal—in and through all of that—there emerges a light that cannot be hidden, a fire that will not be extinguished, a hope of future glory. May we look to the Father of mercies to pour out His rains on the earth of our hearts, that hope may spring up.
Grace and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
photo credit: Fr. Christopher Hartley